I am so happy for your success.

I enjoy reading posts about the success of my friends children. Sometimes. I am not really thrilled to read the latest post of a friend. Honestly, it made me very sad. Her child is "gifted" and scored a ridiculously high score on a test geared for children much older. I am impressed. I really did not need to hear it shouted from the mountaintop.

My children are good kids. They do fairly well in school. They do not test well. I worry about what they will become as all mothers do for their babies. One of my children has a learning disability. It is mild in the scheme of things but to me, it is tragic. The child seems normal to the naked eye but when dealing with him you realize his many issues and shortcomings. He has talent that may never be put to use because of his inability to maintain focus. He could be a wonderful musician if he chose to be. He is also a talented artist. His focus seems to be on things violent and obscene. I hope for a Tarantino type success for him. Not a prison term.

The thing that got to me in my friend's post was her wonderful meeting with teachers for advanced placement. I have meetings with my child's teachers also but I never leave them feeling psyched as she did. It is utterly depressing for me. Sometimes they make me cry. I wonder if my friend understands how her bragging might be viewed by some. To me, it is a slap. I am glad we are not close.

My children are imperfect and so am I. I suppose the world needs us all. I hope it does.

Wow is an understatement

I enjoy reading and hearing different theories of religious beliefs. I am astonished by those who believe in the Rapture. To me, religion is far fetched at best. I understand the human need for an explanation to our existence and I get the need for a purpose for living. The thing that throws me is that it all seems like a big fairy tale.
If you went to a church and asked members if they believed in ghosts and zombies they would most likely laugh and say "of course not!". Yet, they believe that Jesus rose from the dead and walked among the living. Is that not the definition of a zombie?
I'm just sayin'......
Watching the Maddow show this evening was enlightening. I learned that we no longer need to worry that Obama is the antiChrist. He is not popular enough and the antiChrist is not supposed to come until AFTER the Rapture. Whew.

Paranoia

I find the state of paranoia in personal relationships to be the most ridiculous thing on the planet. I invited a friend to come out with me and some other friends a few days ago. I call and leave a message so that this person will know where I am at. They don't show up and don't return my call. I assume that they had something more important to do and don't take it personally. Mind you that this is not the first time this person has just not shown up. Sometimes they will come into town and not even let me know they are in town. I do not take this personally.
So, I finally get a call back from this person and she tells me that she just got my message. This is 3 days later. After speaking with her for several minutes, I realize that she sounds funny so I ask if she is OK. I am informed that she is feeling depressed. I ask why and she is vague. I try to make upbeat conversation but it is painful to speak with this person because of the pathetic tone in her voice. After a while she finally confesses the real reason that she did not show up was because she didn't think I really wanted her there! I respond that I think her assumption is absurd. Why would I invite her if I don't want her to come? I get the malaise answer of "I don't know" in return but she says "I just did not sound like I wanted her to come". Mind that I completely disagree with her and I did want her to come. So, I tell her that she couldn't be more wrong and that of course I want her around and that the next time she feels that way to ignore that voice because it is wrong. I tell her I love her and we hang up.
I have been down this road with this person more times than I care to remember. I can say with all honesty that I do love this person. She once was very close to me and still is, to a degree. The reason for the divide was paranoia that drove someone to believe the worst about me and my intentions. I was called a liar and was told how horribly I had treated her. Unfortunately, what was perceived by her was only a simple misunderstanding with no ill intent. Really. Eventually, I was vindicated and things went back to civility. We will never be as close as we were then because of my awareness of her psyche. I know that it is in my best interest to maintain a certain distance. Many things were said that convinced me of this. This being said, I never try to avoid this person. I really do love her. She just is paranoid.

Caper's Island

January is the uck month

I really don't care much for January. I think the Christmas let down and the New Year always manage to make me sad and crabby. The weather where I am is dull. It is not cold enough to snow so it does not really feel like winter. We are hanging in the 40's today with rain and drizzle. Uck. Everything is dreary and gray. I need an indoor sport. Perhaps a cruise.
Here is some good news. Every day will get a little bit longer, a little bit brighter until summer is here.
I am ready for spring.

Dec.15 Bristol

Here are screen shots of Bristol on Dec. 15. I clipped them from the video of the family going to church service after the fire.